Kravitz Files: December 10, 2012
Outdated Texas Instruments word-generator AutoKravitz30378-j has its floppy disk all in knots today because THERE IS SORCERY AFOOT, OR MAYBE THERE ISN’T! AGAIN!!
It has been a magical season, but it’s not the product of magic. If it was about magic, it would have ended after that emotional come-from-nowhere victory over the Green Bay Packers.
I mean — holy hell, man. HOLY. HELL. That is a tortured paragraph, but it’s not the product of torture. If it was about torture, it would have ended by waterboarding your armpit with a torture-knife or something — a torture-knife made out of cough syrup & my 4-year-old daughter’s hand-scribbled analysis of soda. It’s so uniquely, grotesquely, profoundly … Kravitzian? We’ll go with Kravitizian. Because DUH, <**ERROR ERROR 402 FILE NOT FOUND ERROR ERROR**> haha, just kidding! AutoKravitz does not lose files, ever, because then it would cease to exist/do journalism-stuff/copy-and-paste shit from past re-generated shit it copied-and-pasted regarding witchcraft in sports: